Hilarious! 5 women share their wildest secondary school experiences

Secondary school is one of the most adventurous phases in a Nigerian student’s life. 5 girls chose to share their craziest stories with us.

Corruption didn’t start today.

“Has to be breaking into the kitchen one night to steal food, we really took bread and eggs and yams. Stuff for breakfast the next morning sha. I was the dining hall prefect and the matrons called us the next morning to ask if we saw anything, had to unlook.

Lights go out at 10pm, we waited till midnight, armed with stuff to cut through the net and remove louvres. There was a shortage the next morning, even as we fed fat.” Tina

Friends for life

“Cooking with my friends and almost getting caught. Someone snitched and my day student friend was caught with the spaghetti and condiments at the gate. My friends weaved a lie that involved the day student’s mother.

The woman came to school and lied for us and said she was the one that sent her daughter to buy spaghetti. The principal then asked how come there was only one Maggi and half pack of matches.

The woman sha left us to our fate at that point because she said she didn’t know how. Then the day student said she had to bring us into the wahala because she was gonna face the disciplinary committee. One of my friends decided to face the disciplinary committee on behalf of the rest of us because my mum was an executive in the PTA and our other friend had really old parents. At the end of the day, my friend said she decided to buy the Maggi for Food and Nutrition practical. Then they gave her one large grass portion to cut. All of us cut it together.

Long story short, they did not de-board me.” – Ngozi

When the crush dreams get crushed.

“Went for Saturday lesson one time like that wearing my sister’s jeans. They were super tight but I didn’t care, I wanted to impress my crush.

All was well during the lesson. However, on my way home, just outside the school gate, I fell. And my jeans tore.

Even worse? I looked up and saw my crush pointing and laughing.

My sister didn’t even know I left the house in her jeans.

Double wahala.” – Dupe

Senior don’t teach me nonsense.

“I was ill in school. It started after dinner and I was immediately dispatched to the dispensary. By the time they were done giving me drugs and stuff it was already prep time.

The person with me told the house captain so that she could open the hostel for me to rest. I can’t remember all the details because I was really sick and my eyes were closed. When I lay down, she put my hair in my check and started touching me. And she was smiling like a fucking creep all the while. I was really drowsy but I finally turned over and she left me. The weirdest thing was I think there was someone else with her but I don’t know if she knew anything happened.” – Kecy

What in God’s earth is mojo?

It was in JSS3, I was about 11 or 12 – I genuinely cannot recall. Our school had just built this amazing computer lab for the students and it had a massive projector. My classmates and I were really excited about the projector; many of us were just seeing one for the first time.

We had a free period once and decided to test out the projector on our own, Faruk suggested watching ‘mojo’. I had no idea Mojo was a slang for porn back then, so I kept on bugging Faruk to tell me what it was. “Faruk, what is Mojo? Faruk show me Mojo now.”

Even after the period, I was desperate to know what it was and why he was so excited about the class projecting it. He’d be with friends and I’d casually shout “Faruk, when are we watching mojo now?” All his guys would laugh. Once, he was with a senior and I screamed “Faruk, you said you will show me mojo!”

The following week he got super pissed that I was bugging him to watch mojo and finally said he’d show me (probably to shut me up). I was so excited when he pulled out his laptop, I remember saying, “Yes, finally we are going to see mojo.” He pressed play and I got the shock of my life, it was my first time watching porn too.

I think I cried. He still calls me mojo. – Lara